Tough Cookie Communications by Michelle Surtees

My grade one teacher, Mr. Moon, used to let us make up these little stories and he would turn them into books. We would stand beside his desk, and he would scribe for us as we babbled out some script of a storyline. He would then add simple stick illustrations before stapling the pages into their construction paper cover. The best part? He’d add a small little copyright symbol and write two words next to it: Moon Press. It was my favorite thing. My own story in my own book. I was so proud to be published by Moon Press and cherished every book I made that year. Writing was always made for me, but it took an awkward and difficult change for me to find it again. It took me surrendering a previously held self-identity, letting it burn in the metaphorical fire, and surrendering to an unknown version of myself, to create the space for a new truer identity to rise.  It took courage, determination, and a whole lot of stick-with-it-grit to show up every day in the awkward muck and mess of change. It took a whole lot of being, for me to see the words on the page speaking to me. With every opportunity to write, and to be, I could hear writing saying to me, welcome back.

And so, I wrote about what I knew. I wrote about change and communication and how the being is the doing.

And now I am a writer. Sometimes. When I feel like it.

I’d like to tell you that once I took the leap into writing and publishing I wiped my hands and moved forward with the metaphorical cookies baked and the kitchen cleaned, but the reality is, these experiences endlessly start and restart as life ebbs and flows. Change is a constant experience and it will require us to hang in the balance between the known and unknown more often than we would like. For me, finding my way back to writing was all about realizing that I had a desire to find my way back to my most authentic self.

Figuring out who we are, and who we want to be, in the midst of the many roles we have is part of life. Learning about who we truly are when we are in the awkward and awful in-between experiences is the opportunity change gives us.